Glass Wall

Muted.

Their words did not reach her ears. But she could still see them. Still see those expressions, those gestures alive with emotion. The way their mouths moved when speaking the words... she always had this odd fascination for detail, for looking at things that were there but few would ever care to notice. Sometimes, she would try to guess what they were saying with their mouths or their body gestures, oftentimes her guesses would border on the ridiculous that made little sense to anyone but her. One could say, she took amusement and comfort in this kind of pastime.

Slowly, she reached out, touching an invisible wall just mere inches from where she sat. She let her hand linger on its cold surface, sliding it downwards before retracting her hand back to her side. She watched them again, tilting her head a bit as their conversation died for a moment, a few of them seemingly looking around for something before resuming their talk once again. She didn't know how long they remained that way, however she didn't care for the time. But they soon started moving on, farther and farther away from her, never once noticing her watching them from a distance.

Once the last person walked out of sight, the small smile on her face faded to a thin line. She stood, pulling her jacket closer to her, feeling the cold seeping beyond the wall. Her eyes scanned the empty landscape before her. Finding no other soul, she began to walk alongside the wall, her fingers lightly touching its cool surface.

She walked, and walked aimlessly. She suddenly stopped, staring off into space for a moment before blinking back into focus. She let out a shuddering breath, small clouds puffing before her mouth. She looked to her right, to the side that was swallowed in darkness, almost longingly staring into that emptiness.

Nothing.

She shifted a bit more to make herself comfortable. She strained her ears for any sound that she could have missed. A light step. A swish of a cloth. A hush of breath escaping soft, pinkish lips. Anything to indicate that she wasn't alone in this place.

And yet still nothing.

Exhaling loudly, she entertained her thoughts. Unsurprisingly, they brought her back towards the group she was watching earlier. Each one of them was an acquaintance of sort. Whether a friend or something more, she did not dwell on it too much. As she fleeted through her thoughts the question suddenly came up.

Were they thinking of me?

She shook her head immediately to rid herself of that sentimentality, frowning just a little. What a notion. Of course they wouldn't be thinking of me. And even if they did, it would only be...

Her mental voice trailed off, sensing that it was something that she already knew and had resigned herself to. Best not to waste its voice when it would not coax a significant reaction from her any longer.

She slowly sat back down on the ground, facing towards that side beyond the wall. Her form bent over slightly as she looked at her hands, feeling them go slightly numb from the cold.

Cold. And yet it didn't bother her as much as it should.

A weight suddenly pressed against her from the back. Arms wrapped around her shoulders securing her in their warmth. A head rested on hers ever so gently. If she tried hard enough, she could almost hear the other's breathing in the silence surrounding them, and his heart beating in time with her own. It did not anger her, nor did it frighten her that this person could have gotten so close without her noticing.

He was a constant in her world. A pillar of support for her own broken existence. What reason did she have to be frightened?

Slowly, she shifted her head to rest against one of the arms around her. The head upon hers lifted to allow her free movement. It did not return once she settled herself, rather the man let it hang as he regarded the girl in his arms.

"Haizek..." Was the one word, softly uttered by his calm baritone, that first shattered the silence surrounding them. The girl closed her eyes, willing her roiling emotions to calm themselves. They listened to her bidding. But only for a moment. When she felt the peace of emptiness settling in her, she lifted her head up, staring into dark eyes so similar to her own. She offered him a small, wan smile before looking away.

His brows furrowed, but no words escaped him. Because he knew that it was fruitless to talk with her once she stumbled. All that he could do, all that he hoped he could help ease her during this time, was to be there with her. And pray. Pray that it was until only a phase like so many others, and that she was going to get up again like before.

He felt a thought cross her mind. Though many, many other things ran through her, he could still single this out from all the others. He looked at it a moment, comprehending it, before he wrapped his arms tighter around her and sighed. The girl lifted a hand up, gently gripping an arm as a shuddering breath passed her lips again. Her other hand reached out again, lightly tracing the now frosty glass with a finger.

If he could see her, he would have noticed a light sheen to her eyes. But there was no need to see. Not when he could perfectly feel the emotions running through her like live knives running rampant in a confined space. He watched her trace words on the glass wall, his expression showing the barest of changes even as her hand fell away upon writing out that last letter. He felt her sag against him, felt as she mentally curled up against the assault of her reawakening anguish once again.

He kept his eyes trained on the words on the glass, even as he stroked her hair comfortingly with his free hand.

I don't belong in that world.

end entry.